![]() In fact, oftentimes, the best thing about orgasms is the build up – the stuff that happens beforehand. Plenty of people find it hard or aren't able to orgasm for whatever reason, and that doesn't mean sex is any less satisfying or enjoyable. Obviously, orgasms aren't the be all and end of all of sex. “Ask your lady what her likes and dislikes are and pay attention to her when you're 'performing' to get a feel of what she's into.” “All women's bodies are different and unique and I think we all experience pleasure in different ways,” adds Brooke. Are they into being submissive or dominant? Is there one thing they haven't tried that they'd love to? Straightforward communication is hot, you don't always have to try to mind read.” “So it's important to actually ask your gf or whoever you're sleeping with. “Everyone gets turned on by different stuff,” points out 29-year-old Rhi. This sounds cheesy, but to make a woman come, you need to listen to their body at all times.”Īnd finally, it seems, the key to opening the orgasm lock is something that all lesbians are anecdotally very good at: communication. ![]() If they seem like they're into one rhythm, then continue. If you pick up the pace and they seem more turned on by that, then carry on. “Then pay close attention to how your partner is responding. “Whether you're using your tongue, finger, dildo or dick – start off gentle,” adds Beth. Penetration is good but there needs to be a side course.” And introduce a finger or two while you're there, if they like it I personally like to aim for the blended orgasm. Not for a few seconds, for as long as it takes. “So my advice for anyone wanting to give women or people with vaginas orgasms is this: go down on your partner. According to studies, only 25 percent of cis women tend to orgasm from penetration alone). “Only a few are going to come from basic penetration,” says 24-year-old Ruby. Other lesbians say similar things when it comes to both oral and clitoral sex. “Unless you're a master in G-spot stimulation, penetration alone isn't going to give most women an orgasm.” But what about the physical, practical side of things? Using your mind is important, sure, but what about the rest of it? “Use your fucking mouth and hands (preferably simultaneously) and focus on the clit,” asserts Brooke, 29. Imagination, generosity and intuition are indeed the magic three when it comes to orgasms. So I think if all sexualities employed some of that queer imagination and generosity, there would be a lot more orgasms happening. But it's all focussed on pleasure: giving and receiving. You can use toys, fingers, tongues, bodies. “Lesbian sex can be very imaginative and intuitive in that way. “Ironically, I think taking the pressure off to orgasm can make orgasms more likely!” 25-year-old Beth says. Sex isn't a relay race and it's fine – beneficial even! – to take your time. Not just physically, but psychologically as well.”Ĭharlie's not wrong. Unless someone is insanely aroused – which I can be when I'm on my period – you're not going to make someone orgasm in a few seconds. Create a relaxed and sexy environment in which you can both let yourself go, properly rather than performatively. “Orgasms are pretty psychological, I think,” says 27-year-old Charlie, “so my most important piece of advice would be to make sure both of you are comfortable and feeling open.
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